Wednesday 27 February 2013

I still don't know what the What is

While reading the book What is the What I've found it drags on quite a bit however I feel this gives the impression of the Walk being long and hard, like Emily said. This has also caused my interest in the book to diminish slightly, but all the facts and information are really helpful in broadening my knowledge of the Lost Boys' situation, and this has made me feel sympathetic for them and at the same time as the story being boring, it makes me want to read more. I think also that Eggers has done a really good job with changing between scenes, like when Valentino is robbed and then tells the story of the Walk via flashbacks.


Tuesday 5 February 2013

How to write about Ireland

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How to write about Ireland

Using words like "Ireland" or "green" or "farmer" in your title is a must, and subtitles may include the words "drunken", "guinness", "Dublin" or "IRA". Note that "The Republic" refers to the Republic of Ireland, which is an independent country and "the North" refers to Northern Ireland.

Do not have a picture of a well-off intelectual or someone who isn't ginger on the cover of your book. A drunk, poor farmer with his ginger wife plus four to six children with a farm in the background, make sure the farm is green. A leprechaun dancing will also work well.

In the text, treat Ireland as if it were one massive farm swarming with cows, pigs, horses and sheep. It is cold and if it's not snowing it's raining. The Irish are uneducated ginger people who are always drunk and have large amounts of children. Don't bother yourself with detail, Ireland is a small island with farms everywhere and the people there are too busy getting drunk or farming to concern themselves with your book.

Make sure you show how Irish people have Guinness running through their veins, and all of them are born with the ability to do Irish Dancing without flaw. Do not mention the Celtic Tiger, when Ireland was one of the biggest economies in Europe and the people were all well off. Do not mention either the culinary diversity of the food in the big cities (Cork, Dublin, Belfast etc.). An Irishman's cuisine of choice is boiled potatoes, boiled cabbage and boiled hams, with several pints of Guinness stout to wash it down with. Make sure you stress how much Irish food is always boiled, and the Irish only drink alcohol. Make sure also that you are able to drink and drink and drink without throwing up or dying of alcohol poisoning, and how you grow accustomed to it - because you care.

Taboo subjects: ordinary domestic scenes, love between Protestants and Catholics (unless tragic death is involved), references to life outside the Irish farms, and mention of Irish kids going to school.

Make sure you write about Irish young men and women who are full of hope, and go looking for work in the States, only to be disappointed and being squashed into tight living quarters or poverty. Make sure you mention how hospitable Irish wives are, and will let you stay at their house if you need to. Write like this and your set for a best-selling novel on Ireland.